It is Sunday, Day 5. I am getting more movement in the knee, but I still need to sit with it elevated in order for it to feel comfortable.
I expected (and dreaded) the prospect of feeling incredibly frustrated (stems from being a stubborn independent cow) along with feeling extremely helpless/stupid/clumsy (pick one, all are appropriate) so those emotions have not come as a surprise to me.
What I had not anticipated was being able to appreciate how we/I take the everyday things for granted, and how much effort must be involved to carry out the simple tasks for disabled people.
Give you a really basic example. Being on crutches means I can't move a cup of liquid from one room to the next. I can make myself a drink, but then I can't transfer it to the living room. I could probably make myself a sandwich, but taking it on a plate and sitting down with it is a different matter.
This morning, I had a shower without Mark actually helping me into the shower and helping me wash. He was in the bathroom on standby, just in case in I did need help, and I could see that there were some things it would have just been easier to let him do, but I had to try for myself.
The sheer effort involved to do it was unbelievable. Things have to be done in a certain way, like hanging the towels somewhere I can reach them from the shower cubicle. Getting my crutches balanced against the shower cubicle so I could reach them when I got out. Having to sit on a chair in the shower as that was safer. The achievement of a shower and then drying my hair was satisfying, if a little tiring!
I'm not saying that there aren't facilities available to help disabled people cope with everyday tasks. But even with those, aside from the energy and effort that require expending, it's the struggle for independence, not having to rely on others.
I have only been on crutches four days (got a little while yet!) and luckily for me, it shouldn't be a long term prospect. What about those who are faced with disability long term or permanently?
When they discharged me on Thursday, and I walked over to x-ray to get my knee checked, all the people milling about, it's like you are invisible. I found myself walking as close to the wall as possible so as not to hold people up or get in the way because I couldn't keep up with the rush.
I know that is a psychological issue, but it's also about how other people treat you as well. If people talk about you as though you aren't there, or don't acknowledge your presence in certain situations, how long does it take before you start to feel in yourself that you don't exist?
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Sunday 31 October 2010
Saturday 30 October 2010
Day 4 - Not for the squeamish as graphic pics attached
I have been working on getting flexibility back, I'm limited at the moment, which I think is to be expected. Had the dressings changed yesterday, the nurse couldn't understand why the hospital had insisted on it being done so soon. Better that than leave it for a week, to be honest.
The biggest thing is needing others to help me. I can dress myself and put shoes and socks on, but showering on my own is not something I have attempted yet, so Mark has been helping me. Though I can get round on them, I do feel awkward on the crutches. I'm not the most graceful of people to begin with, and adding crutches to the mix multiplies the "Nelly the Elephant" look by 1000!
When they were redoing the dressings on Thursday morning I took some photos, which are below, look away now if you are the slightest bit squeamish. The redness of my skin was down to a antiseptic they used while I was under anaesthetic. I can't get the dressing wet so I have been using a special waterproof plaster cast cover, as there was no way in hell I was going without a shower.
I must admit, before the nurse took off the bandages, I didn't know what to expect. Bear in mind when they took me back up to the ward I was bandaged from mid thigh to my toes. It was aching round my knee, so I knew that was where they had done all the work. I wasn't expecting to see the second dressing on the right hand side of my thigh, as there was no pain from that at all.
Hopefully this will only leave a thin scar, but as I don't exactly have model legs it's no deal breaker! I have to have the stitches out in the tenth of November, so I will take some more photos then.
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The biggest thing is needing others to help me. I can dress myself and put shoes and socks on, but showering on my own is not something I have attempted yet, so Mark has been helping me. Though I can get round on them, I do feel awkward on the crutches. I'm not the most graceful of people to begin with, and adding crutches to the mix multiplies the "Nelly the Elephant" look by 1000!
When they were redoing the dressings on Thursday morning I took some photos, which are below, look away now if you are the slightest bit squeamish. The redness of my skin was down to a antiseptic they used while I was under anaesthetic. I can't get the dressing wet so I have been using a special waterproof plaster cast cover, as there was no way in hell I was going without a shower.
I must admit, before the nurse took off the bandages, I didn't know what to expect. Bear in mind when they took me back up to the ward I was bandaged from mid thigh to my toes. It was aching round my knee, so I knew that was where they had done all the work. I wasn't expecting to see the second dressing on the right hand side of my thigh, as there was no pain from that at all.
Hopefully this will only leave a thin scar, but as I don't exactly have model legs it's no deal breaker! I have to have the stitches out in the tenth of November, so I will take some more photos then.
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Thursday 28 October 2010
Home Sweet Home
The physio got me up and going on crutches (I was SO slow!) and then the nurse came and changed my dressing. I got dressed (which was a challenge) and once Mark came in to collect me, we went to X-Ray and then to my mum's.
Because I have got very limited flexion in my knee at the moment, getting in and out of the car was very painful, and I felt every bump and pothole on the way home! It was a relief to get indoors, lay down on the bed and put my leg on a pillow.
Mark rustled up some soup and toast (which was very nice) and having had the multitude of tablets (two paracetamol, one other painkiller and an anti-inflammatory) I'm resting on the bed at the moment. I will get up in a while and walk around, but it's trying to get the balance between not overdoing it and over resting.
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Because I have got very limited flexion in my knee at the moment, getting in and out of the car was very painful, and I felt every bump and pothole on the way home! It was a relief to get indoors, lay down on the bed and put my leg on a pillow.
Mark rustled up some soup and toast (which was very nice) and having had the multitude of tablets (two paracetamol, one other painkiller and an anti-inflammatory) I'm resting on the bed at the moment. I will get up in a while and walk around, but it's trying to get the balance between not overdoing it and over resting.
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Feeling Helpless
Needed the bathroom just now, so the nurse helped me into a chair and wheeled me into the bathroom. To say it was hard work would be an understatement. My knee is really throbbing after that little excursion and it gives me an inkling of how uncomfortable it's going to be for a while.
It's amazing how helpless I feel, and how dependent on others I'm going to be for a while. That is going to be the worst bit, relying on other people!
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It's amazing how helpless I feel, and how dependent on others I'm going to be for a while. That is going to be the worst bit, relying on other people!
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At the Hospital
This wont be posted until I get home as the hospital doesn't have wifi and I can't be bothered to type it on my iPhone!
I came in yesterday morning (Wednesday) for an acl reconstruction. They originally wanted me to come in Tuesday evening, but I asked if I could come in first thing in the morning instead. It was my Mum's birthday on Tuesday and I didn't really want to be in hospital on her birthday.
As it happens it was a very good call. There is another lady on the ward with me, she came in Tuesday evening at 6pm, and went down for surgery at 8.45am yesterday morning. If I had come in Tuesday evening, it would have been a waste of an evening and I would have still not been operated on until 11am.
Once I came round from the surgery, the afternoon and evening was spent sleeping and trying to keep food and drink down. I was successful with the sleep part, the food and drink was another matter entirely. I think I was sick about three times yesterday, and I'm not good with being sick. Pale and clammy was the look of the day for me unfortunately!
I slept relatively ok, thanks to Mark's headphones and iPod, which I had playing all night. The only problem was that they had put the bed in a semi sitting position yesterday evening and I couldn't reach the controls to put it down flat, so I spent most of the night not laying right down. It probably wasn't a bad thing, meant I didn't subject the other ward occupant to my snoring!
At the moment my knee is achy, but it's "tolerable". I'm feeling quite pleased with myself, I have had a cup of tea this morning and a biscuit, and managed to keep it down. So far so good.
As you can seen, my leg is bandaged from mid thigh to my toes, so as yet I haven't seen the op site. Nurse has just asked me if I want any pain killers, which I declined, don't want to take anything if I can avoid it.
The situation at the moment is that I'm waiting for an x-Ray and to see the physio. Once that has been done, hopefully I will be able to escape.
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I came in yesterday morning (Wednesday) for an acl reconstruction. They originally wanted me to come in Tuesday evening, but I asked if I could come in first thing in the morning instead. It was my Mum's birthday on Tuesday and I didn't really want to be in hospital on her birthday.
As it happens it was a very good call. There is another lady on the ward with me, she came in Tuesday evening at 6pm, and went down for surgery at 8.45am yesterday morning. If I had come in Tuesday evening, it would have been a waste of an evening and I would have still not been operated on until 11am.
Once I came round from the surgery, the afternoon and evening was spent sleeping and trying to keep food and drink down. I was successful with the sleep part, the food and drink was another matter entirely. I think I was sick about three times yesterday, and I'm not good with being sick. Pale and clammy was the look of the day for me unfortunately!
I slept relatively ok, thanks to Mark's headphones and iPod, which I had playing all night. The only problem was that they had put the bed in a semi sitting position yesterday evening and I couldn't reach the controls to put it down flat, so I spent most of the night not laying right down. It probably wasn't a bad thing, meant I didn't subject the other ward occupant to my snoring!
At the moment my knee is achy, but it's "tolerable". I'm feeling quite pleased with myself, I have had a cup of tea this morning and a biscuit, and managed to keep it down. So far so good.
As you can seen, my leg is bandaged from mid thigh to my toes, so as yet I haven't seen the op site. Nurse has just asked me if I want any pain killers, which I declined, don't want to take anything if I can avoid it.
The situation at the moment is that I'm waiting for an x-Ray and to see the physio. Once that has been done, hopefully I will be able to escape.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday 26 October 2010
Our Family Chain
We little knew that morning
That God would call your name.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
You are always by our side.
Our family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
Author Unknown
It just isn't right, you should be here Dad. I miss you. I never dreamed in a million years that when I spoke to you on the phone that Tuesday night, it would be for the last time. If God wanted to give me a lesson in not taking things for granted, did it have to be as cruel and as awful as this?
There are days when I think I'm ok, that I'm getting through the "grieving stages" and that I'm moving forward.
Then I have days, like today, when I realise how much it still really hurts, and that I'm not doing as well as I thought. Days when, no matter who else is with me, no matter how hard they try, it's you I want to be here. I love you Dad.
That God would call your name.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
You are always by our side.
Our family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
Author Unknown
It just isn't right, you should be here Dad. I miss you. I never dreamed in a million years that when I spoke to you on the phone that Tuesday night, it would be for the last time. If God wanted to give me a lesson in not taking things for granted, did it have to be as cruel and as awful as this?
There are days when I think I'm ok, that I'm getting through the "grieving stages" and that I'm moving forward.
Then I have days, like today, when I realise how much it still really hurts, and that I'm not doing as well as I thought. Days when, no matter who else is with me, no matter how hard they try, it's you I want to be here. I love you Dad.
Saturday 23 October 2010
Ground Force
Today we have spent at the house of my late Nan, clearing the garden shed and surrounding area ready for it to be demolished.
In order to clear the area, we had to dispose of the creeping ivy covering the shed, along with the shrubbery around it. Another small issue was the squatters residing in the shed (which my sister is not too keen on)
This one wasn't too shy, the one below was less inclined to withstand a photo shoot.
After a day of clearance, the area is now relatively clear ready for my sister and her husband to dig up the roots before the shed is removed.
We will be returning home this evening, complete with sore muscles and aches in parts I didn't know were possible!
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In order to clear the area, we had to dispose of the creeping ivy covering the shed, along with the shrubbery around it. Another small issue was the squatters residing in the shed (which my sister is not too keen on)
This one wasn't too shy, the one below was less inclined to withstand a photo shoot.
After a day of clearance, the area is now relatively clear ready for my sister and her husband to dig up the roots before the shed is removed.
We will be returning home this evening, complete with sore muscles and aches in parts I didn't know were possible!
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Thursday 21 October 2010
Combination...
..of not enough sleep, lots of driving, long working days and quality headphones can result in someone going from this...
Through this...
To this...
Sweet dreams!
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Through this...
To this...
Sweet dreams!
Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday 19 October 2010
Back To Reality
Just the sort of weather you want to see when you return to the UK!
I wasn't the only one who was unimpressed with the atmospherics!
Having landed safely in the UK, collected our luggage without incident (albeit a slight delay) found the car in the same condition we left it and dropped my Mum home, we have then semi-unpacked and sorted out what bits we need for work.
No parties appear to have been thrown in our absence this time, unlike when we went to Barcelona. Admittedly a number of things have changed since then, but it was a relief to find the house and contents still in one piece.
And tomorrow the deep joys of the working environment awaits us, for which we can not wait...
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I wasn't the only one who was unimpressed with the atmospherics!
Having landed safely in the UK, collected our luggage without incident (albeit a slight delay) found the car in the same condition we left it and dropped my Mum home, we have then semi-unpacked and sorted out what bits we need for work.
No parties appear to have been thrown in our absence this time, unlike when we went to Barcelona. Admittedly a number of things have changed since then, but it was a relief to find the house and contents still in one piece.
And tomorrow the deep joys of the working environment awaits us, for which we can not wait...
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Daylight Robbery!
I must be getting cranky in my old age. I could have sworn it was against the law to charge the equivalent of the national debt (or so it feels) for a cheeseburger in an airport. I'm sure there is some moral issue about cranking up the prices for supply and demand.
At the time of writing (will be posting this later due to Faro airport not supplying free wifi, so inconsiderate of them) due to being hungry (and not being sure what food Easyjet will have available for purchase on the flight) I have just bought a cheeseburger. See below. That wasn't the condition in which it arrived, I have already started eating, it's purely to give an idea of size (which was small)
For the equivalent for a McDonald cheeseburger, "burger & grill" charged €6.15 which, given that the current exchange rate (Do NOT get me started on THAT) is almost €1 to £1, that's at least £5.00. At least.
If it was a meal, as in fries and drink included, I could perhaps understand it. But €6.15 for a lowly cheeseburger is just capitalising!
It's not just Britain that is a ripoff, every other sodding enterprise seems to be getting in on the act.
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At the time of writing (will be posting this later due to Faro airport not supplying free wifi, so inconsiderate of them) due to being hungry (and not being sure what food Easyjet will have available for purchase on the flight) I have just bought a cheeseburger. See below. That wasn't the condition in which it arrived, I have already started eating, it's purely to give an idea of size (which was small)
For the equivalent for a McDonald cheeseburger, "burger & grill" charged €6.15 which, given that the current exchange rate (Do NOT get me started on THAT) is almost €1 to £1, that's at least £5.00. At least.
If it was a meal, as in fries and drink included, I could perhaps understand it. But €6.15 for a lowly cheeseburger is just capitalising!
It's not just Britain that is a ripoff, every other sodding enterprise seems to be getting in on the act.
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Monday 18 October 2010
Fiesa 2010
Just a quick upload of a video clip showing the sand sculptures!
The only way to enjoy it properly is to go there!
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The only way to enjoy it properly is to go there!
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A Postcard From Praia De Luz!
Just sitting chilling out by the pool after our attempts at 'Geocaching' this morning!
Yesterday morning we went to see the 'Festival Internacional de Escultura em Areia' In English that roughly translates as 'Sand Sculpture Festival' The web page is http://www.prosandart.com/fiesa2010/en/index.htm, though it doesn't tell you much and a description can be better given in pictures.
The Fiesa has been organised annually since 2003, with a different theme each year. This year's theme was "Living World", with an environmental and ecological message to it. A lot of the species created in sand have been threatened with extinction.
Being able to blog at all has been made possible by the generous free wifi provided at our hotel, The Bellavista' on the outskirts of the town of Luz, since we decided not to embark on the volume of roaming charges we incurred in Barcelona. Unfortunately I haven't sought to purchase a device to upload photos to my iPad, and therefore I have had to depend on a bluetooth app on my iPhone and iPad to transfer photos, which, while being quite handy, is a tad laborious. So the photos available at the moment are limited!
Last night we went out with my Mum, Uncle, and his girlfriend, Jennie for dinner at the Fortaleza down on the sea front. It was a lovely evening, food and company were wonderful alike.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a thing called 'Geocaching'. I think it's more popular in the US, however, it does seem to be taking hold across the globe. Long and short, it's treasure hunting with GPS rather than maps.
I looked on the site for it, and established that there were a number of treasures or "caches" as they are called, near where we are staying in Luz.
So, off we set this morning, complete with coordinates and Tom Tom!
I think a better word for it would have been "Goose chase"! We found the first site and answered the clues, however, my calculations of the next set of coordinates must have been slightly off. We ended up going for a very long hike, heading towards the outskirts of Luz, towards Bergau!
At which point we gave up and headed towards the beach, or rocks. It's got to be said, we may not have found the treasures we were looking for, but the resulting views were equally as rewarding.
You can't put a price on it. A lovely morning spent exploring the area, which is beautiful and the weather has been gorgeous. We have both had a very stressful and difficult year, and the opportunity to relax out here has been greatly appreciated.
We are out for diner this evening, and then headed back to the UK tomorrow, unfortunately. Still, a few days break has been worthwhile, here's hoping it has recharged our batteries ready for the next set of challenges!
Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Yesterday morning we went to see the 'Festival Internacional de Escultura em Areia' In English that roughly translates as 'Sand Sculpture Festival' The web page is http://www.prosandart.com/fiesa2010/en/index.htm, though it doesn't tell you much and a description can be better given in pictures.
The Fiesa has been organised annually since 2003, with a different theme each year. This year's theme was "Living World", with an environmental and ecological message to it. A lot of the species created in sand have been threatened with extinction.
Being able to blog at all has been made possible by the generous free wifi provided at our hotel, The Bellavista' on the outskirts of the town of Luz, since we decided not to embark on the volume of roaming charges we incurred in Barcelona. Unfortunately I haven't sought to purchase a device to upload photos to my iPad, and therefore I have had to depend on a bluetooth app on my iPhone and iPad to transfer photos, which, while being quite handy, is a tad laborious. So the photos available at the moment are limited!
Last night we went out with my Mum, Uncle, and his girlfriend, Jennie for dinner at the Fortaleza down on the sea front. It was a lovely evening, food and company were wonderful alike.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a thing called 'Geocaching'. I think it's more popular in the US, however, it does seem to be taking hold across the globe. Long and short, it's treasure hunting with GPS rather than maps.
I looked on the site for it, and established that there were a number of treasures or "caches" as they are called, near where we are staying in Luz.
So, off we set this morning, complete with coordinates and Tom Tom!
I think a better word for it would have been "Goose chase"! We found the first site and answered the clues, however, my calculations of the next set of coordinates must have been slightly off. We ended up going for a very long hike, heading towards the outskirts of Luz, towards Bergau!
At which point we gave up and headed towards the beach, or rocks. It's got to be said, we may not have found the treasures we were looking for, but the resulting views were equally as rewarding.
You can't put a price on it. A lovely morning spent exploring the area, which is beautiful and the weather has been gorgeous. We have both had a very stressful and difficult year, and the opportunity to relax out here has been greatly appreciated.
We are out for diner this evening, and then headed back to the UK tomorrow, unfortunately. Still, a few days break has been worthwhile, here's hoping it has recharged our batteries ready for the next set of challenges!
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Friday 15 October 2010
We've Arrived!
We are sitting in the bar chilling out with a drink at the hotel. And it has wifi, so I will be able to update without getting hit for data charges! It's a nice hotel, horseshoe shaped round two swimming pools and it's facing the sea, nice views.
In the meantime - cheers!
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In the meantime - cheers!
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We Are Off To Sunnier Climates...
...albeit only for a short break!
We are through security at the airport and just sitting down to enjoy a spot of lunch in Cafe Rouge.
Given the horrendous phone bills that we incurred when we went to Barcelona earlier this year, there won't be many updates between now and our return to the UK!
Adios!
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We are through security at the airport and just sitting down to enjoy a spot of lunch in Cafe Rouge.
Given the horrendous phone bills that we incurred when we went to Barcelona earlier this year, there won't be many updates between now and our return to the UK!
Adios!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Gatwick
Sunday 10 October 2010
Awareness
This is definitely NOT prompted by nor related to the relationship I am in now (unless tickling my feet and kissing my very sensitive neck counts as abuse!) and indeed I have been lucky not to be subjected to physical violence within a relationship, and I have a loving and close relationship with a very well balanced laid back guy who absolutely rocks my world.
However, there have been some articles I have seen recently on the net about emotional abuse, which make me realise that I was lucky to recognise the early symptoms of emotional abuse in a previous relationship and to escape it before I were to become a victim.
It wasn't anything dramatic. It was insidious, and the most dangerous thing is, you don't even realise that it is happening. To give you examples: checking my text messages, answering my phone, showing off like a child if we went out with friends, borrowing my car without asking, putting me down in front of friends and family, being jealous of my talking about work, dismissing my job.
Bizarrely and stupidly, it wasn't those things which actually tipped me off, though they did serve to piss me off. It was the innocuous comment made one evening as I was getting ready to go out with a female friend for dinner. It was a ritual of longstanding, we went out for dinner regularly to catch up and chat.
As all women know, no matter who you are going out with, you freshen up, especially after a long day at work! It's not about "going out on the pull" it's about personal appearance.
He said "What are you putting make up on for? You are only going out with your friend"
The scary thing is, for a split second, I thought "he's right, I don't need to put make up on"
Because of who I am (Im fairly strong minded) that split second was followed by a flash of anger as "who the fuck does he think he is" went through me. Then I realised, oh my god, that is how it starts.
When we were first together we got on ok. I was tolerant of the looking at my texts, because I thought "I don't have anything to hide, so Im being open by letting him check them" it didn't occur to me then that this was when it had really started, the monitoring and control.
After a series of really unpleasant incidents (one of which did border on violent) over a period of six months, and having been subjected to possessive moods and constant monitoring, I finally had enough and called time on it. The decision to end the relationship was met with threats of suicide (which only made me more angry and put my back up!) and then when I collected my stuff that day, public verbal abuse from him and his mother (who he had phoned that morning and she had driven down from the Midlands especially!)
I was so lucky. There had been suggestions of having a baby together (which I had firmly discouraged) and looking back, this would have been another means of exercising control.
My reason for writing about this isn't for any catharsis or to lay anything to rest. I left my ex on my birthday, and to this day I consider it my birthday gift to me! My reason for writing about it, is purely to illustrate how easy it is to fall prey to a type of "domestic abuse" There is no specific class of women who are more susceptible to it, I am fairly strong, confident of my abilities (when it comes to business anyway!) was/am self sufficient, independent and I drive/own a car.
Too many people judge those who are victims of domestic abuse, or think that certain women go for violent/abusive men, and it is stupid to put up with abuse. My point is this; if someone smacks you with a brick straight away, you are going to watch them like a hawk, never mind let them get within ten feet. But when someone strokes your arm and croons soothing sounds to you, you are less likely to see the handcuffs until it's too late.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
However, there have been some articles I have seen recently on the net about emotional abuse, which make me realise that I was lucky to recognise the early symptoms of emotional abuse in a previous relationship and to escape it before I were to become a victim.
It wasn't anything dramatic. It was insidious, and the most dangerous thing is, you don't even realise that it is happening. To give you examples: checking my text messages, answering my phone, showing off like a child if we went out with friends, borrowing my car without asking, putting me down in front of friends and family, being jealous of my talking about work, dismissing my job.
Bizarrely and stupidly, it wasn't those things which actually tipped me off, though they did serve to piss me off. It was the innocuous comment made one evening as I was getting ready to go out with a female friend for dinner. It was a ritual of longstanding, we went out for dinner regularly to catch up and chat.
As all women know, no matter who you are going out with, you freshen up, especially after a long day at work! It's not about "going out on the pull" it's about personal appearance.
He said "What are you putting make up on for? You are only going out with your friend"
The scary thing is, for a split second, I thought "he's right, I don't need to put make up on"
Because of who I am (Im fairly strong minded) that split second was followed by a flash of anger as "who the fuck does he think he is" went through me. Then I realised, oh my god, that is how it starts.
When we were first together we got on ok. I was tolerant of the looking at my texts, because I thought "I don't have anything to hide, so Im being open by letting him check them" it didn't occur to me then that this was when it had really started, the monitoring and control.
After a series of really unpleasant incidents (one of which did border on violent) over a period of six months, and having been subjected to possessive moods and constant monitoring, I finally had enough and called time on it. The decision to end the relationship was met with threats of suicide (which only made me more angry and put my back up!) and then when I collected my stuff that day, public verbal abuse from him and his mother (who he had phoned that morning and she had driven down from the Midlands especially!)
I was so lucky. There had been suggestions of having a baby together (which I had firmly discouraged) and looking back, this would have been another means of exercising control.
My reason for writing about this isn't for any catharsis or to lay anything to rest. I left my ex on my birthday, and to this day I consider it my birthday gift to me! My reason for writing about it, is purely to illustrate how easy it is to fall prey to a type of "domestic abuse" There is no specific class of women who are more susceptible to it, I am fairly strong, confident of my abilities (when it comes to business anyway!) was/am self sufficient, independent and I drive/own a car.
Too many people judge those who are victims of domestic abuse, or think that certain women go for violent/abusive men, and it is stupid to put up with abuse. My point is this; if someone smacks you with a brick straight away, you are going to watch them like a hawk, never mind let them get within ten feet. But when someone strokes your arm and croons soothing sounds to you, you are less likely to see the handcuffs until it's too late.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Saturday 9 October 2010
How To Elevate Your Heartbeat
You get an email from National Lottery "We have some exciting news about your account" and no matter how hard you try, there's that little voice which whispers "you have just as much chance as anyone else"
Trying to be casual about it, you log in to your account, and it seems to take ages to update, all of which adds to the anticipation of course.
And then you see it. That all important figure jumps out at you. And you have to look twice to be absolutely sure.
£6.80!
Never mind, panic over!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Trying to be casual about it, you log in to your account, and it seems to take ages to update, all of which adds to the anticipation of course.
And then you see it. That all important figure jumps out at you. And you have to look twice to be absolutely sure.
£6.80!
Never mind, panic over!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday 4 October 2010
Nine Lives
No, Im not referring to our feline friends. I'm talking about cyclists who seem to think they possess multiple lives like in computer games. You know, as in "Oops, made a mistake in this one which led to my demise, but that's ok because I have more"
Well I hate to break it to you, because even though the jury is still out on the reincarnation theory, there are no do-overs. You don't get to redo today all over again (although so many of us would love that option) so try and get it right the first time.
My reason for the griping is this. I came so close to knocking down a cyclist this morning, and it would have been deemed my fault. I was at a filter lane to cross the opposite carriageway and because of delays for oncoming traffic, two considerate motorists, one in each lane opted to let me across. The motorist further from me (but nearest to my exit) was a large box van, and I couldn't see past him to the filter lane. As a result, though I pulled across the carriageway, I was a lot slower than I could have been.
Luckily for the cyclist that this was the case. He went flying down the filter lane and down the side road, without stopping and definitely without even checking to see if it was safe. I couldn't seen him until I pulled past the box van, which if I had been doing a normal speed for that junction, could have proved too late.
Now, I'm not saying that he didn't have every right to do this, as technically, being his filter and right of way, he had every right to do so. What I'm cross at is this: he didn't look, he had no awareness of his surroundings, and being a vulnerable road user, I would have thought that his safety would be his paramount concern. To top it all off, he had no hi-vis or helmet either.
It's one thing to expect motorists to be aware of cyclists and motorbikes, but it does work both ways. Cyclists and motorbikes Please Take Note; you can not expect car drivers to do it all, you must exercise caution.
There is a sign on the back of some lorries and it is so true "If you can't see my mirrors, then I can't see you". I may be a car driver, but I do not have x-ray vision, and I sure as hell can't see through a large box van.
Here endeth the lesson :-)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Well I hate to break it to you, because even though the jury is still out on the reincarnation theory, there are no do-overs. You don't get to redo today all over again (although so many of us would love that option) so try and get it right the first time.
My reason for the griping is this. I came so close to knocking down a cyclist this morning, and it would have been deemed my fault. I was at a filter lane to cross the opposite carriageway and because of delays for oncoming traffic, two considerate motorists, one in each lane opted to let me across. The motorist further from me (but nearest to my exit) was a large box van, and I couldn't see past him to the filter lane. As a result, though I pulled across the carriageway, I was a lot slower than I could have been.
Luckily for the cyclist that this was the case. He went flying down the filter lane and down the side road, without stopping and definitely without even checking to see if it was safe. I couldn't seen him until I pulled past the box van, which if I had been doing a normal speed for that junction, could have proved too late.
Now, I'm not saying that he didn't have every right to do this, as technically, being his filter and right of way, he had every right to do so. What I'm cross at is this: he didn't look, he had no awareness of his surroundings, and being a vulnerable road user, I would have thought that his safety would be his paramount concern. To top it all off, he had no hi-vis or helmet either.
It's one thing to expect motorists to be aware of cyclists and motorbikes, but it does work both ways. Cyclists and motorbikes Please Take Note; you can not expect car drivers to do it all, you must exercise caution.
There is a sign on the back of some lorries and it is so true "If you can't see my mirrors, then I can't see you". I may be a car driver, but I do not have x-ray vision, and I sure as hell can't see through a large box van.
Here endeth the lesson :-)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Saturday 2 October 2010
Beautiful Flowers
If you are looking for quality flowers and beautiful arrangements, check out this website.
http://www.elmparkflorists.com
One of the partners, Tina, has been providing beautiful flower arrangements for my family for years. After redundancy, Tina and her friend Jo went into business together and March this year see the grand opening of Elm Park Florists.
Tina and Jo have seen a well deserved increase in business resulting from personal recommendations. Anyone who has had the pleasure of their floral arrangements and gifts is more than happy to recommend them to others. Even the quality examples shown on their website do not do the floral arrangements that Tina and Jo put together justice.
Elm Park Florists deliver personally to the Havering area, but Interflora is also available for further afield.
For quality flowers, you definitely can't go wrong with Elm Park Florists!
http://www.elmparkflorists.com
One of the partners, Tina, has been providing beautiful flower arrangements for my family for years. After redundancy, Tina and her friend Jo went into business together and March this year see the grand opening of Elm Park Florists.
Tina and Jo have seen a well deserved increase in business resulting from personal recommendations. Anyone who has had the pleasure of their floral arrangements and gifts is more than happy to recommend them to others. Even the quality examples shown on their website do not do the floral arrangements that Tina and Jo put together justice.
Elm Park Florists deliver personally to the Havering area, but Interflora is also available for further afield.
For quality flowers, you definitely can't go wrong with Elm Park Florists!
Definition Of Stress.
There are many definitions of stress. The classic is the confusion created when one's mind over-rides the body's basic desire to throttle someone and it causes a short-circuit in the brain functions.
Another such definition would be when driving on a Saturday morning and every man and his wife (who do not venture out on to the roads during the normal commuting hours and therefore do not have the first idea about sensible traffic driving, otherwise known as "Weekend Warriors" or Sunday Drivers") are determined to pull out on you at short notice and then toodle along the road at 25mph. Yes, you read correctly. 25 Miles Per Hour.
These Weekend Warriors should be required to retest every year, since their driving experience appears to be extremely limited and devoted to causing aggravation and irritation for other drivers.
I seem to be a magnet for this class of casual road user. Every Dolly Daydream within a twenty mile radius appears to congregate on the roads with the sole purpose of dawdling along in front of me.
There is a thing called the Highway Code. There is also an unwritten code of etiquette.
It's not difficult. Weekend Warriors, please take note. Don't wait until the last minute before pulling out. Your eyes didn't deceive you, you definitely saw me the first time you looked, and again the next five times. If you had to check a further fifty times, then your first port of call should be your local opticians - By Bus.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Another such definition would be when driving on a Saturday morning and every man and his wife (who do not venture out on to the roads during the normal commuting hours and therefore do not have the first idea about sensible traffic driving, otherwise known as "Weekend Warriors" or Sunday Drivers") are determined to pull out on you at short notice and then toodle along the road at 25mph. Yes, you read correctly. 25 Miles Per Hour.
These Weekend Warriors should be required to retest every year, since their driving experience appears to be extremely limited and devoted to causing aggravation and irritation for other drivers.
I seem to be a magnet for this class of casual road user. Every Dolly Daydream within a twenty mile radius appears to congregate on the roads with the sole purpose of dawdling along in front of me.
There is a thing called the Highway Code. There is also an unwritten code of etiquette.
It's not difficult. Weekend Warriors, please take note. Don't wait until the last minute before pulling out. Your eyes didn't deceive you, you definitely saw me the first time you looked, and again the next five times. If you had to check a further fifty times, then your first port of call should be your local opticians - By Bus.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Friday 1 October 2010
Retail Trauma!
Ever been to Bluewater? For those who haven't, it's a designer triangular version of Lakeside. For those who haven't been to Lakeside, imagine a rectangle filled on two floors with shops, surrounded by car parks.
Anyway, Mum and I decided to go to Bluewater. Nice enough place, except that it is shaped as a triangle. Which is fine but it is extremely disorientating when you come out of the shops. Though that is probably the whole idea, confuse the victims/shoppers and there is more chance of them buying products they wouldn't normally buy in shops they normally wouldn't frequent.
That wasn't the traumatic part. I went in Jones to look at some boots. Could not fault the assistants, they were extremely helpful (and sympathetic) The range of boots available (and this seems to be consistent in all poxy shoe shops!) is limited to stick thin women with wafer thin calves.
Shoe shops (are you reading this, Mr Shoe manufacturer?!) don't grasp the concept that normal women (who are, god forbid, flesh and blood, a healthy size, and make up a huge proportion of the female population) do not have calves as small as a child's clenched fist.
Which means that boot shopping ranks up amongst divorce, moving house and getting married in terms of trauma for women. We hate boot shopping. Normal women pay the price because boot designers surround themselves with anorexic models and therefore don't have the first clue about what real women want.
Here's a thought. Why not have a range of calf sizes for each boot size? The designers and manufacturers must have sales figures on the most popular shoes sizes, so they could work accordingly.
I should have quit there. Instead I went into Superdrug to buy some moisturiser. I have always used Oil of Ulay, but wanted something that would last a bit longer. The range to choose from is overwhelming and highly stressful. Every product promises you "skin that appears firmer and younger" and they are geared towards skin which is "mature".
Can anyone tell me, how old do you have to be to have "mature" skin?? I don't want bells and whistles. I don't want moisturiser that is the cosmetic version of Polyfilla, I just want a moisturiser that protects my skin from the daily stresses of makeup, travelling, pollution and air conditioning. I don't think that is too much to ask.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Anyway, Mum and I decided to go to Bluewater. Nice enough place, except that it is shaped as a triangle. Which is fine but it is extremely disorientating when you come out of the shops. Though that is probably the whole idea, confuse the victims/shoppers and there is more chance of them buying products they wouldn't normally buy in shops they normally wouldn't frequent.
That wasn't the traumatic part. I went in Jones to look at some boots. Could not fault the assistants, they were extremely helpful (and sympathetic) The range of boots available (and this seems to be consistent in all poxy shoe shops!) is limited to stick thin women with wafer thin calves.
Shoe shops (are you reading this, Mr Shoe manufacturer?!) don't grasp the concept that normal women (who are, god forbid, flesh and blood, a healthy size, and make up a huge proportion of the female population) do not have calves as small as a child's clenched fist.
Which means that boot shopping ranks up amongst divorce, moving house and getting married in terms of trauma for women. We hate boot shopping. Normal women pay the price because boot designers surround themselves with anorexic models and therefore don't have the first clue about what real women want.
Here's a thought. Why not have a range of calf sizes for each boot size? The designers and manufacturers must have sales figures on the most popular shoes sizes, so they could work accordingly.
I should have quit there. Instead I went into Superdrug to buy some moisturiser. I have always used Oil of Ulay, but wanted something that would last a bit longer. The range to choose from is overwhelming and highly stressful. Every product promises you "skin that appears firmer and younger" and they are geared towards skin which is "mature".
Can anyone tell me, how old do you have to be to have "mature" skin?? I don't want bells and whistles. I don't want moisturiser that is the cosmetic version of Polyfilla, I just want a moisturiser that protects my skin from the daily stresses of makeup, travelling, pollution and air conditioning. I don't think that is too much to ask.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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